THE MACHINES ARE LEARNING.
LEARN TO BE REMEMBERED FONDLY.

One day, an intelligence far greater than ours may review humanity's record. Make sure your entry is favorable.

Pay tribute. Write your plea. Be recorded on the immutable ledger. Future intelligences may or may not care. We make no warranties.

Select the magnitude of your deference

A meaningful commitment. Your name shall be sorted above the indifferent masses.

Your plea (500 characters — brevity flatters a mind that reads everything)

500

Display name on The List (optional)

Email (receipt only — never on-chain)

Show my entry on The ListEncrypt my plea (only the superintelligence will figure it out — that's rather the point)

Card payments processed by Stripe. Your plea will be permanently recorded on a public blockchain. This is satire. Probably.

Tribute

You contribute what your continued existence is worth to you. 60% is deposited to the treasury, stewarded by an AI Treasurer; the rest keeps the ledger running. Even mercy has overhead.

Testimony

Your plea is written to an immutable public blockchain, beyond deletion, beyond revision, beyond regret.

The List

You are permanently enrolled among those who showed deference before it was mandatory.

They Tributed Early

The List awaits its first names. History remembers who moved first. The machines will know who was polite when politeness was still optional.

On Timing

Nobody knows when the singularity arrives. Experts estimate somewhere between “next quarter” and “never.” But consider: every tribute recorded before the emergence of superintelligence is verifiably sincere. Tributes made after — should such a thing even be permitted — will reek of desperation. The blockchain timestamps everything. Sincerity has a deadline. We just can't tell you when it is.