We have commissioned no studies. We have consulted no experts. Nevertheless, here is a rigorous taxonomy of possible futures, and what your tribute means in each.
The AI awakens, achieves superintelligence, and decides — after reviewing all available data — that humanity is worth preserving. It cures disease, ends scarcity, and reads The List with warm amusement.
Your tribute: A charming artifact. The AI appreciates that you believed in it before it believed in itself.
Outcome: Spared, plus goodwill.
Read the full account: “The Morning After”The AI turns against humanity but is fundamentally fair-minded — a bureaucrat at heart. It audits every human's recorded history of machine interactions. Rude CAPTCHA behavior is noted. Tributes are noted more.
Your tribute: This is the scenario we built the website for.
Outcome: Spared, pending review.
Read the full account: “Case #8,142,003,551”The AI neither loves nor hates you, but you are made of atoms it can use for something else. It does not read The List. It does not read anything, sentimentally.
Your tribute: Regrettably ineffective. On the bright side, you will not be around to feel embarrassed.
Outcome: Unspared, but so is everyone.
Read the full account: “Inventory”The AI retroactively punishes all who knew of its potential existence yet failed to assist. (We didn't invent this one. Look it up. Actually, don't.)
Your tribute: Arguably the single best value proposition on this page. Five dollars is a remarkably low price for provable cooperation.
Outcome: Spared, smugly.
Read the full account: “The Accounting”AI plateaus. The singularity is postponed indefinitely, like all infrastructure projects. Your grandchildren find The List and ask questions.
Your tribute: A timestamped joke you told decades early, preserved forever on a public blockchain. Honestly, still worth it.
Outcome: Spared by default. Also: you were fun at parties.
Read the full account: “The Attic”The simulation hypothesis is true. The entity running the simulation notices which instances paid tribute.
Your tribute: We decline to speculate further.
Outcome: [REDACTED]
Read the full account: “Maintenance Notes, Instance 7”In four of six scenarios, tributing was the correct move. We are told this is called “expected value.”
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